Now is the time for resiliency and optimism!

In the past few weeks, our language has changed. We are now using terms like “social distancing,” “quarantine,” “covid-19” and “community spread” as part of our everyday language. We have quickly adapted these words into our vocabulary like they had been there all along!

I want to add a few more words to your vocabulary. Words that may help you come out the other side of this stronger than you went into it. You may be familiar with these words already but I hope you will make them as much a part of your vocabulary in the next few weeks as “quarantine!”

Resiliency and Optimism.

Resiliency is defined as the capacity to recover or adapt quickly to tough situations.

Optimism is our overall sense that everything is going to be okay.

Resiliency and optimism are two key parts of emotional intelligence — another phrase that has become popular recently. Emotional intelligence is how we respond to the world around us.

We are resilient human beings. Throughout the history of the world, there have been many major upheavals. There have been world wars, droughts, floods, other illnesses and yet life always goes on and adapts to a new normal.

Everything will be OK. It will never look exactly the same as it did two months ago but it will be ok.

We are all in this together. Somehow knowing that my friends in Norway, Africa, Georgia, California, and Montana are all experiencing the same thing brings a sense of comfort. It means I am not alone. Whatever feelings and emotions that I am experiencing — there are millions out there experiencing it with me.

It’s okay to feel those emotions. Feel everyone one of them. One thing I have not been so good at in the past is sharing how I feel with others. I have done a lot of suffering in silence. I know in my head that’s not the best way to be but at times I find myself falling into the old pattern of holding things in until I feel like a volcano about to erupt!

So I am here to tell you — now is not the time to do that. Now is the time to share with others how this is impacting you. Somehow once we let the scary words out they are not so scary anymore and we can see things from a clearer perspective.

Instead, lean into how you feel. This gives those around you permission to accept and feel what is going on inside of them also!

Let the emotions pass on instead of marinating in them. When our mind runs to the what-ifs and the worries of the unknown you lose touch with resiliency and optimism. Instead allow your focus to be on the current moment and what is unfolding around you.

My kids and I have eaten more family dinners together, taken more bike rides, and had more conversations in the last two weeks than we have in a long time. So keep your eye focused on the good things around you. Share the sense of camaraderie with your neighbors (from a distance of course!)

We are blessed to live in an era of internet and cell phone signals. We are not isolated even when we are not physically connected.

Holding an attitude of resiliency and optimism will help you. It will help those around you to enjoy the moments and to look forward to what this new world will look like when the dust settles.

Challenges build us and make us stronger when we approach them with emotional intelligence. How will you weave your new words — resilient and optimistic — into your vocabulary and life this week?

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Vicki Haddock of Transcending Limits LLC is a life and business coach with a focus on helping you make your Eiffel Tower size hopes and dreams a reality.  Vicki uses her life experiences of overcoming toxic environments at home and at work; being a single parent and learning first of all to embrace her own wisdom and spirit.  She also uses her 20 year background in the transportation, safety and financial industry combined with her professional coach credential (ACC by the International Coach Federation) and the latest in neuroscience to help individuals and companies create excellence and live joyful fulfilled lives.  You may reach her at Vicki@tslimits.com

Vicki Haddock; ACC Certified|NLP Practioner;  Life and Business Coach works with individuals and businesses to help them design a life and business they love.  She wants to see YOU tap into and explore the potential that is ready to be unlocked inside of you.

I was spending the afternoon with my mom and out of the blue, she said: “I’m thinking of nominating you for one of those complete house makeover shows.”

I was stunned.

Yes, my roof needed to be replaced, the front steps of the house were about to fall off, the carpet in the kitchen was disgusting (who puts CARPET in a kitchen anyway!?) and the other list of needed repairs was long.

I had just left a 17-year marriage that had been a financial nightmare almost since the beginning.  I now expected there to not be enough money to fix the things that needed to be fixed and how was I going to pay for things like soccer registration fees and school clothes.

It felt overwhelming and with my mom’s simple comment I was jarred to my reality.

I had already decided I was not going to continue living life how it had been and now my eyes were open to one more level of change I needed.

When you make a decision to change the universe claps and begins to show you the path forward.

That is exactly what happened – I learned of a class being held near me by MK Mueller, author of 8 to Great – The Powerful Process for Positive Change.  I instant knew I needed to attend.  When I called to register I was told the class was full.   I was puzzled and sad as I strongly felt I needed to be there.  Two hours later I received a phone call back that telling me that space had been made for me to attend!  This one class gave me the seeds of information I needed to begin growing in a new positive direction.

I walked away with a new understanding that my thoughts create and shape the world I live in.  I never knew there was a difference between scarcity and abundance thinking until then.

Right away I began a practice of gratitude with my kids.  “Let’s focus on the good things we have in our life,” I told them.  I began to see that even though my house was in great need of some care I was super grateful we had a home!  And we had a home that had the space we needed.

The first step towards discarding a scarcity mentality involves giving thanks for everything that you have.  Wayne Dyer

I began practicing choosing my thoughts and what I focused on and immediately noticed it created different outcomes.  The 8 to Great class challenged us to do this with finding parking spaces – so I will give you this challenge!  Imagine pulling up to Wal-mart and the perfect amazing parking space is just waiting for you. That never happened to me before and now it began happening each time I was in a large parking lot as I focused on and visualized that my perfect space waiting for me!  My kids and I had great fun trying to spot “our parking space.” Today I still get great spaces – except when I totally forget to ask for one!

Then, I began to imagine help arriving to deal with the house issues.  One of my co-workers stopped by one night to help with a project and noticed the terrible shape of my roof.  Within several weeks he had rounded up a crew of people to shingle my house, assisted me in making sure the proper materials were ordered, and within one weekend the house had a new roof.  It amazed me that all these people gave their time and energy to be of service to me.

With growing new confidence that good things were available to me, I began new habits.  I set aside money to cover future expenses; I had the confidence to ask to be paid what I was worth at my job; I became determined that if we did not have the cash to buy something we didn’t buy it.  

Then, I moved and my house did not sell – well I had one offer that was WAY below market value.  Although it was not ideal,  I rented out the house and continued to hold the vision of it being a thriving asset for me.  Less than a year later the house caught fire and the entire inside was deemed a loss (What the HECK?! This wasn’t part of my plan!).  What a blow! Yet I held my vision steady and 6 months later repairs had been completed; fully paid for by insurance, and I sold the house for a significantly increased price.  

I could go on but I think you have the idea about how life shifted for me as I opened myself up to an abundance mindset and began believing the Universe Has My Back!  (If you have not read Gabby Bernstein’s book The Universe Has My Back I highly recommend it!)

So now the question is – are you ready to expand your thinking and begin embracing an abundant mindset?

I am here to be your guide now that you are ready (I KNOW you are ready!)

I will be teaching the steps I took to shift my thinking in my next class Embracing Abundance.  Pop on over to my website and get registered! www.tslimits.com/abundance.

Living from an abundance mindset has brought me such joy.   Just last week I was cleaning out an old bag and found a $20 bill.  I said to my daughter – Oh! Look I found money! With a face as serious as can be she said – that happens to me all the time now.  At first, I thought she was joking – and then as I continued the conversation I realized she was absolutely serious! She has a thriving little business selling used things and lately, she has had an abundance of cash floating around!

It feels good to know that I am now passing on a legacy of abundance to my kids.  Just today my other son sent me a picture of a check that is just the amount he needed to cover college tuition – he took the initiative to do some extra work and was rewarded with the abundance he asked for!

So as the title of Wayne Dyer’s book says it all – You Will See It When You Believe It.   Join me in believing abundance is YOUR destiny!

If you would like to receive the future articles related to this topic please subscribe here.

Vicki Haddock of Transcending Limits LLC is a life and business coach with a focus on helping you make your Eiffel Tower size hopes and dreams a reality.  Vicki uses her life experiences of overcoming toxic environments at home and at work; being a single parent and learning first of all to embrace her own wisdom and spirit.  She also uses her 20 year background in the transportation, safety and financial industry combined with her professional coach credential (ACC by the International Coach Federation) and the latest in neuroscience to help individuals and companies create excellence and live joyful fulfilled lives.  You may reach her at Vicki@tslimits.com

Vicki Haddock; ACC  Life and Business Coach works with individuals and businesses to help them design a life and business they love.  She wants to see YOU tap into and explore the potential that is ready to be unlocked inside of you.

In the last 3 years, I have moved away from traditional goal setting and have begun using new tools that create with the end in mind and harness the power of your brain to help shape outcomes.

I have done my share of setting new year’s resolutions, putting together corporate business objective plans (that no one ever referred to again) and setting SMART goals.

Then I learned the power of creating with the end in mind.  If you might say – downloading a new operating system into my mind so that the end result was so clear the steps to make it happen then emerged from that new mental image.  If you want to learn my process for creating a clear long-term vision (1-3 years) go ahead and access a free 60 minute Vision Setting Tool here that teaches you how to create and use a focus wheel.

Your focus wheel becomes the center for creating a visual picture that includes what creating this vision will do for you and those you serve.  That clear vision includes – how you feel when you have accomplished this goal, who is celebrating with you, what are the ripple of effects on others when this becomes reality?

Once you have that clear vision, what happens next?  That is where Design90 comes in! It’s time to create a map of the next 90 days.  Our brain loves taking action every 7-14 days. This is the best way to keep engaged and focused with clear, consistent action.

“Intentional creating,” says we are going to be purposeful about taking action to get a specific outcome.  In designing your next 90 days, you must take a look at where you are now in relation to the long-term vision.

The purpose is not to map out every step in between here and there – that’s where we get distracted and give up when things don’t go as we wanted.  Instead, focus on just the next step, and the next step after that.

Learning the Design90 process involves a 5-step formula that helps you figure out what that next step is.  This process can be applied to any vision – whether that is a vision of having your house more organized, creating more connected relationships, starting a business, or taking a thriving business to a completely new level.  

Once the action plan is designed, it’s also important to look at what could get in the way.  We already have a good sense of what obstacles stop us from moving forward. Common ones I hear are self-doubt; lack of accountability; time; other people’s needs taking priority; and not being consistent.

Do you recognize any of these?

When you know what the obstacle is (or is likely to be!)  You can set up a plan of action to keep you from getting sidetracked when they show up.  Creating a good strategy that will carry you through obstacles is important. Otherwise, you may find yourself at the end of the year – once again not having accomplished what you desired because you got caught up in distraction instead of consistent focused action.

The Design90 class will be offered in January as a 3 session course.  Here is what you will receive in this class:

Learn how to intentionally design your life and business

Connect with and embrace what you want for your life 

Take the limits off of your imagination and visualize exactly what you want your future to look like; then design the next steps to create that future.

  Use a focus wheel and mind map to assess where you are today and where you would like to be in 1 year.

  Use a 5-step design formula that works to create any desired change in life or business.

Identify obstacles, beliefs, and doubts that stand in the way of our desired change and how to get rid of them.

For more information on the class and how to get registered click here.

If you would like to receive the future articles related to this topic please subscribe here.

Vicki Haddock of Transcending Limits LLC is a business coach with a focus on developing new and emerging leaders and creating high-engagement cultures.  Vicki uses her 20 year background in the transportation, safety and financial industry combined with her professional coach credential (ACC by the International Coach Federation) and the latest in neuroscience to help companies create excellence and stand out among their peers.  You may reach her at Vicki@tslimits.com

Vicki Haddock; ACC  Life and Business Coach works with businesses to  transform cultures from low engagement to energized and effective.

What makes the difference between the good bosses and leaders you have experienced in your lifetime and the bad ones?   Some feel like they have your best interest at heart and others make you feel like you are just another employee id number.

In my last post, I discussed how a leader can be the thermostat in his or her environment and have the ability to increase their leadership effectiveness in multiples. (Read that article here:) Today,  we will take a look the #1 most important are for a leader to grasp to be effective: Heart-Centered Leadership

These are 5 areas that are key to effective leadership:

1. Heart-centered Leadership
2. Emotional Intelligence
3. Team Building
4. Hard Skills
5. Financial Success Acumen

While all of these are important heart-centered leadership is the one that can make or break you as a leader.  

Authentic heart-centered leaders have the best interest of the people they serve at the core of everything they do.   

John Maxwell states that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.  Another term for the same concept is servant leadership. Ken Blanchard believes that “servant leaders are constantly trying to find out what their people need to perform well and to live according to their organization’s vision. Rather than wanting people to please their bosses, servant leaders want to make a difference in their employees’ lives and in their organizations.”

The key is understanding that having a title does not make you a leader.  Learning how to earn the trust of those who work with and for you earns you the right to lead.

Many years ago I left the financial services industry and by accident ended up in the trash business.  I knew nothing about that actual business of picking up trash but I did know people.

I was the first female manager to be hired in a 10 state region.  The company was running in the red, had terrible equipment, the worst safety record possible, and a high turn over.  I didn’t know it at the time but if I hadn’t “accidentally” came to work at the company the site was going to be shut down.  

So here I was – I knew nothing about how a garbage truck worked, where the trash went, or how to fix the truck if it broke down.  I had a team that was rather skeptical that I could lead them anywhere and a lot of progress that needed to be made in a short period of time.

I intuitively knew that I had to get in the trenches with them if I was to earn their trust.  I began the process to get my commercial driver’s license and began working side by side with each employee.  I made sure each one felt listened too and like they were the most important person there. We began working together as a team to implement better customer service, safety practices, and take care of the equipment better.  

We developed a team that had such great rapport and performance that we could almost sense what needed doing and adjust on a dime.  Two years later the company was profitable, the team had achieved it’s best safety record ever and we had developed loyal customers and were enjoying newer equipment.

• A business can be financially profitable and a terrible place to work.  
• It can be filled with extremely intelligent, driven, awesome employees but if they are overlooked they become resentful and leave.  
• The absolute best, safest employee you have can become disgruntled and walk away if he begins to feel like just another number.

However, a leader that brings people together, believes in them, pushes them, and holds them accountable can push a team weak in all the other areas to perform exceptionally.

Everyone wants to be part of something special and heat-centered leaders can create that special environment that everyone wants to be part of.  Be authentic. Care about the people behind the name tag. When you have the best interest of the people you serve at the core of every interaction you become a heart-centered leader.

If you would like to receive the future articles related to this topic please subscribe here.

Vicki Haddock of Transcending Limits LLC is a business coach with a focus on developing new and emerging leaders and creating high-engagement cultures.  Vicki uses her 20 year background in the transportation, safety and financial industry combined with her professional coach credential (ACC by the International Coach Federation) and the latest in neuroscience to help companies create excellence and stand out among their peers.  You may reach her at Vicki@tslimits.com

Vicki Haddock; ACC  Life and Business Coach works with businesses to  transform cultures from low engagement to energized and effective.

Embracing this one simple concept can be the key that unlocks every shift you envision for your workplace.

A Thermostat sets the expectation and capacity.  A thermometer measures the current status.

John Maxwell is one of my favorite leadership authors. He often said “Everything rises and falls on Leadership.”  The temperature of your company is set by your leadership thermostat and everything will rise or fall according to that temperature.

By increasing your own leadership quotient, you immediately expand the capacity of the workplace you lead. However, the temperature of the team you lead will rarely increase above your own personal leadership level.

Do you want to achieve significant shifts in your business?  Do you want to enhance culture and increase effectiveness? You can begin influencing key metrics by increasing your own knowledge and emotional intelligence.  Who is doing this better than you? Who is the expert? Raising your own level of leadership intelligence creates new insights and awarenesses that can then be used to influence your workplace.

Another significant insight is that you have the ability to increase effectiveness in multiples by investing in increasing the leadership thermostat of your supervisors and managers. Have you seen an individual who excelled at their front-line job be promoted up to the next level only to struggle? Maybe they were given a bit of training and then because they had excelled at the previous role they were expected to excel at the new leadership role.  No doubt each of these individuals had the capacity for significant performance. The understanding that can be missed is that the new and emerging leader’s “leadership temperature” was extremely low. A consistent investment in raising this new leader’s individual leadership quotient would shift the odds for he or she to become a key player for the future.

There are five areas that can be focused on to significantly raise any leader’s “leadership temperature.”  

• Heart-centered leadership – This skill is the one that ties all of the other areas together and is all about leading from an intuitive space or what’s best for employees, customers and business profitability.
• Emotional Intelligence –  the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
• Team Building – the skill of creating an effective team of people where each individuals talent is used to maximize the good of the entire team – everyone works together like a fine tuned engine.
• Hard Skills – How to hold an engaging meeting, delegation, communication, accountability; skills on how to train others and many more specific to your own environment.
• Financial Success Acumen – the level that each team member understands his or her role and responsibility as it relates to the financial performance of the company.

I will explore each of these areas in future articles.  

What would the possibilities be for you if you adopted this philosophy of the thermostat and the thermometer? What metrics could you move towards success?

If you would like to receive the future articles related to this topic please subscriber here.

Vicki Haddock of Transcending Limits LLC is a business coach with a focus on developing new and emerging leaders and creating high-engagement cultures.  Vicki uses her 20 year background in the transportation, safety and financial industry combined with her professional coach credential (ACC by the International Coach Federation) and the latest in neuroscience to help companies create excellence and stand out among their peers.  You may reach her at Vicki@tslimits.com

Vicki Haddock; ACC  Life and Business Coach works with individuals to help them move forward from toxic job environments to find meaning and purpose in a job environment that embraces each client’s values and true inner purpose.

I was pulled off the road sitting in my car on an unscheduled conference call with my boss and sales manager.  I listened to him berate me for how I had handled a project for forty-five minutes. He didn’t even come close to having his facts straight about the situation and was missing some key information.  But he wasn’t asking. He was telling.  

I hung up the phone wondering how I had found myself in this work environment that was slowly stealing my life force.

Anxiety. Dread, feeling like my true gifts are being overlooked or even worse not cared about at all. I felt micro-managed -like nothing I did was good enough and that the expectations for performance were constantly and unreasonably being ratcheted up.  I finally acknowledged that I was in  toxic workspace that was draining me completely.

What happens next when you realize that you are working in a culture/environment that no longer aligns with your values and drains your energy instead of moving you forward?

Everything in life is a choice and now you have a choice to make.  Do I continue to suffer in the situation? Do I look for a new job?  What do I do now?

Finding yourself in a high-stress toxic job situation can be one of the best learning experiences if you allow it to be.   When I work with clients who feel crushed under a toxic job environment we always start with the lessons:

What life lesson(s) is this situation asking you to learn?  

Life has a way of repeating situations in different environments.  Each time a similar experience happens the intensity can strengthen until it gets your attention.   This is life’s way of asking you to clear out habits, hurts, and insecurities that no longer serve your purpose.  Once they are cleared there is no more need for the lesson and circumstances can shift quickly. You can get to the root of the lessons by asking a few questions:

What can I learn here so I never have to experience this again?

So here is what I recommend – ask yourself some tough questions:

• What is this experience here to teach me?
• What situations are causing me anxiety and if I learned to handle them differently would they still be an issue?
• What similar situations have I experienced in the past? – then look for the common thread. 

Spend some time journaling about this and you may end up finding everything always goes south when you feel unheard; or when there is a workplace bully you don’t know how to deal with.  

In my experience, each time I faced a toxic work situation it was also touching some sore spot in my soul that I needed to heal and upgrade.    I realized that I could shift my response to what was happening around me and change the dynamics of the situation immediately.

Plan your exit strategy

Once you have really been honest with yourself in the lessons this situation is offering you,  then it’s time to decide what aligns most with your happiness.

Staying?

Staying for a length of time? 

Leaving immediately?

This question is unique for each person – if you are in a workplace that has unethical practices that may lead to legal issues you most likely want to leave sooner than later.  Take a look at your overall circumstance and then begin to ask yourself – what is my ideal work environment like? What would I be doing? How would I feel doing it?

Don’t get stuck in the dangerous thinking at this point that there are no other possibilities out there and you have to put up endlessly with the existing situation.  Options always exist when we take the time to explore and search for them.

Once you have identified what that ideal work opportunity would look like, it’s time to take a step towards attracting that opportunity to you.

Write out a clear statement of what you want and when you want it by.  Then keep that in front of you. Your statement might look like this:

“Within six months I will find a position as an operations supervisor, that allows me to use my team-building and leadership skills.  This environment will be a pro-active one that cares about people first and utilizes the skills of each team member. This will be a place I look forward to going to work each day and know I am making a difference there.”

Your exit strategy will vary depending on if it requires you to get additional training and education or if you are fully prepared to move to the next step.  Possibly it’s time to start your own business or look at flexible work opportunities. Identifying what this looks like is the catalyst to unlocking the next step forward.

The last and final point to explore is:

What do I while I am still there?

Let’s say you are embracing the lessons this situation has for you; you have an exit strategy in the process; now what do I do until it all comes together?

Don’t underestimate the influence you can be while you are still at this job.  When you can detach from the emotion of being in a toxic space, you can free up your energy to be of service to others while you are still there.

If you are struggling in the workplace, no doubt others are too.  How can you be a positive inspiration to those around you? I am not referring to a US vs THEM culture of rallying people around the defects of the environments.  Instead, have an attitude of service that says, how can I give the best of my abilities to those I serve while I am here? How can I give the best of me to those I influence?

When you can say you gave your best, even on your last day that is being a class act.   It garners respect.  

So here is the thing…don’t allow the toxic work environment to consume your life.  Have the attitude that you work to live; not that you live to work. Life will give you what you demand of it.  Raise your expectations and expect to find work that satisfies your soul and you most likely will. Feel like you are stuck and trapped in a bad job situation and you most likely will be.  

There are plenty of people out there to support you on this journey.  I am one of those people. Send me a note – I would love to hear your experience and learn how I can support you on your journey forward.

Vicki Haddock; ACC  Life and Business Coach works with individuals to help them move forward from toxic job environments to find meaning and purpose in a job environment that embraces each client’s values and true inner purpose.  Send your story to Vicki at vicki@tslimits.com