“I will hear myself above the noise, I will hear my voice above the opinions of others, I will listen and I will hear me.”
In Today’s Episode, I interviewed Kathy Whitham, Child Behavior Specialist. We dig deep into how the power struggle with her child launched her on a new path of uncovering how the family dynamic in her childhood home shaped her adult behavior – and how understanding that has led to her career in helping parents and caregivers get underneath the behavior of their child to really understand where that behavior originates from.
Kathy openly shares how growing up in a family home where she experienced a lot of love and security yet there was a triangulation and feeling caught between parents that were not a good fit for each other impacted her. It gave her insight to see that a depressed parent can be experienced by a child as neglect and it leads to a quiet trauma that impacts negatively the ability for resilience. As an adult, she learned how this impacted her and awakened when she went through a 2nd divorce where she came face to face with her desire to rescue, control, and fix another person.
We don’t change habits and dynamics by wishing them away. There is real work that needs to be done internally.
Change only comes when you are ready to face reality head-on. Alanon helped Kathy begin to sort out what she could not control and she was ready to reclaim her voice.
Her healing journey led her to Her path guides such as Brene Brown that taught her the physiology of when shame shows up and family constellation work that shows how the dynamic of past generations influences us today.
She also studied trauma and attachment and how it impacts stability. She began to build empathy and detachment and to validate that there was room for all of the feelings she had.
Today she uses all of this life wisdom her No-Yell parenting approach! She has created a special video on resilience just for this audience! – you can get it by emailing her at kathy@parentingbeyondwords.com with the subject line: Unsilenced Resilience!
Additional Resources Suggested by Kathy:
Brene Brown – The Gifts of Imperfection
Family Constellation work at Suzietucker.com
(for understanding kids) Beyond Consequences Logic and Control – Brian Post
The Body Keeps the score by Bessel Van der Kolk M.D.
Jeanette LaBlanc who teaches how to share your words (https://www.jeanetteleblanc.com/)
Learn more about Kathy and the free resources she offers here: https://www.parentingbeyondwords.com/copy-of-services
Kathy Whitham, RN, is a Child Behavior Specialist, Mom, Grammy and poet. She helps parents and caregivers at their wit’s end be able to respond to their child’s needs rather than react to their behavior. Her No-Yell™ parenting approach is based on the understanding that behavior is communication. It lies at the intersection of brain science, attachment theory, intergenerational family dynamics, and parents’ inner wisdom. Kathy’s motto for good parenting is “Connection matters more than perfection!”
LinkedIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/confidenceunchained/
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