Vicki Haddock; ACC Life and Business Coach works with individuals to help them move forward from toxic job environments to find meaning and purpose in a job environment that embraces each client’s values and true inner purpose.
I was pulled off the road sitting in my car on an unscheduled conference call with my boss and sales manager. I listened to him berate me for how I had handled a project for forty-five minutes. He didn’t even come close to having his facts straight about the situation and was missing some key information. But he wasn’t asking. He was telling.
I hung up the phone wondering how I had found myself in this work environment that was slowly stealing my life force.
Anxiety. Dread, feeling like my true gifts are being overlooked or even worse not cared about at all. I felt micro-managed -like nothing I did was good enough and that the expectations for performance were constantly and unreasonably being ratcheted up. I finally acknowledged that I was in toxic workspace that was draining me completely.
What happens next when you realize that you are working in a culture/environment that no longer aligns with your values and drains your energy instead of moving you forward?
Everything in life is a choice and now you have a choice to make. Do I continue to suffer in the situation? Do I look for a new job? What do I do now?
Finding yourself in a high-stress toxic job situation can be one of the best learning experiences if you allow it to be. When I work with clients who feel crushed under a toxic job environment we always start with the lessons:
What life lesson(s) is this situation asking you to learn?
Life has a way of repeating situations in different environments. Each time a similar experience happens the intensity can strengthen until it gets your attention. This is life’s way of asking you to clear out habits, hurts, and insecurities that no longer serve your purpose. Once they are cleared there is no more need for the lesson and circumstances can shift quickly. You can get to the root of the lessons by asking a few questions:
What can I learn here so I never have to experience this again?
So here is what I recommend – ask yourself some tough questions:
- What is this experience here to teach me?
- What situations are causing me anxiety and if I learned to handle them differently would they still be an issue?
- What similar situations have I experienced in the past? – then look for the common thread.
Spend some time journaling about this and you may end up finding everything always goes south when you feel unheard; or when there is a workplace bully you don’t know how to deal with.
In my experience, each time I faced a toxic work situation it was also touching some sore spot in my soul that I needed to heal and upgrade. I realized that I could shift my response to what was happening around me and change the dynamics of the situation immediately.
Plan your exit strategy
Once you have really been honest with yourself in the lessons this situation is offering you, then it’s time to decide what aligns most with your happiness.
Staying?
Staying for a length of time?
Leaving immediately?
This question is unique for each person – if you are in a workplace that has unethical practices that may lead to legal issues you most likely want to leave sooner than later. Take a look at your overall circumstance and then begin to ask yourself – what is my ideal work environment like? What would I be doing? How would I feel doing it?
Don’t get stuck in the dangerous thinking at this point that there are no other possibilities out there and you have to put up endlessly with the existing situation. Options always exist when we take the time to explore and search for them.
Once you have identified what that ideal work opportunity would look like, it’s time to take a step towards attracting that opportunity to you.
Write out a clear statement of what you want and when you want it by. Then keep that in front of you. Your statement might look like this:
“Within six months I will find a position as an operations supervisor, that allows me to use my team-building and leadership skills. This environment will be a pro-active one that cares about people first and utilizes the skills of each team member. This will be a place I look forward to going to work each day and know I am making a difference there.”
Your exit strategy will vary depending on if it requires you to get additional training and education or if you are fully prepared to move to the next step. Possibly it’s time to start your own business or look at flexible work opportunities. Identifying what this looks like is the catalyst to unlocking the next step forward.
The last and final point to explore is:
What do I while I am still there?
Let’s say you are embracing the lessons this situation has for you; you have an exit strategy in the process; now what do I do until it all comes together?
Don’t underestimate the influence you can be while you are still at this job. When you can detach from the emotion of being in a toxic space, you can free up your energy to be of service to others while you are still there.
If you are struggling in the workplace, no doubt others are too. How can you be a positive inspiration to those around you? I am not referring to a US vs THEM culture of rallying people around the defects of the environments. Instead, have an attitude of service that says, how can I give the best of my abilities to those I serve while I am here? How can I give the best of me to those I influence?
When you can say you gave your best, even on your last day that is being a class act. It garners respect.
So here is the thing…don’t allow the toxic work environment to consume your life. Have the attitude that you work to live; not that you live to work. Life will give you what you demand of it. Raise your expectations and expect to find work that satisfies your soul and you most likely will. Feel like you are stuck and trapped in a bad job situation and you most likely will be.
There are plenty of people out there to support you on this journey. I am one of those people. Send me a note – I would love to hear your experience and learn how I can support you on your journey forward.
Vicki Haddock; ACC Life and Business Coach works with individuals to help them move forward from toxic job environments to find meaning and purpose in a job environment that embraces each client’s values and true inner purpose. Send your story to Vicki at vicki@tslimits.com